6 Ways To Thrive In A World That Is Constantly Telling You That You Are Not Enough

Today’s social media landscape and advertising world is saturated with images of perfection. Vogue-ready models and bloggers, coupled with expertly edited photos, inundate our feeds from morning until night. This is all designed to make us feel like we need to be more, do more, and have more.

This sense of not being good enough can come from watching all the “perfect” people around us; it can also come from our early childhood experiences where we didn’t feel seen or heard — when you constantly judge yourself and your body as not good enough.

It is important to know that you are not alone in this feeling of not being enough; even some of the most successful and ‘beautiful’ people have deep insecurities that haunt them in the background.

If you want to start cultivating a deep sense of ‘enoughness’ from within, try playing with these six habits to help you thrive in a world that tells you you are not enough. Stop scrolling and start writing.

We’ve all heard that writing is therapeutic. It’s true: putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) can be incredibly soothing and help you process your emotions more effectively. Letting all of your inner thoughts out on paper can help you to stop ruminating about the things you “should” be doing, the things you “should’ve” said, or the things that you see “wrong” with you.

Writing doesn’t have to take up hours of your day. You can start by writing down small things like your goals, your gratitude, or your fears and anxieties.

If you feel the urge to scroll through social media when you’re feeling stressed, low, or anxious, writing can help redirect your thoughts and give you something productive to do instead.

Don’t compare — it doesn’t serve you or anyone else.

Comparison is the thief of joy. It can make you feel bad about yourself, and it doesn’t even make sense — because everyone has different circumstances and paths in life, so it’s impossible to know how someone else ended up where they are.

We’re all at different points in our lives and on different paths. So comparing yourself to others (and what they’re doing or how they look) is pointless. It has no positive outcomes, only negative ones.

If you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people and feeling poorly about yourself, take a step back and ask yourself why you do that. You may find that it’s because your feelings are not about the other person but yourself. In that case, you can take steps to help yourself feel better. Seeking guidance from a Certified Coach, Counsellor, or Therapist can teach you the tools to get yourself out of the comparison pattern.

Commit to finding your passion and developing your talents.

Everyone has something that they are good at. It might be something that you’re naturally good at, or it might be something that you have to practice and try again and again until you get it right. It doesn’t matter what your “talent” is — everyone has one.

It may be something you’ve always enjoyed doing, something you used to and drifted away from, or something you’ve only recently discovered.

What do you enjoy doing? What do you spend your spare time on? What do you wish you could do more of in your life? What are you curious about? What have people told you that you’re good at? What makes you feel like you’re living your life? What gives you energy? What drains you? These are excellent questions to ask yourself as you discover your talents, passions, and interests.

Celebrate the things that make you feel proud.

You know what we mean by celebrating what makes you proud, right?

Healthy pride is an essential emotion to cultivate from within. It involves having pleasure or satisfaction with a person’s or someone else’s achievements.

So consider the question, what do you feel proud of? Or what are your most significant accomplishments? If you find it hard to answer these questions, don’t worry because many of us find it challenging to celebrate ourselves.

Start small; maybe you graduated high school were recognized for a community award, or finished a project on time. These are all things to feel proud about.

And when you’re feeling down or anxious, it can be helpful to have something you can turn to and think, “Oh yeah, I am proud of myself for that!” These are the things that make up you and are all things to feel proud of. You don’t have to be the highest-paid person in the room, the most popular person, or the person with the best website to feel proud. You can feel proud of yourself for who you are as a person.

Practice talking to yourself like you would your best friend.

How would you talk to your best friend if they had a hard time? Most of us would probably be kind and supportive, trying to be encouraging and helpful. So why not do the same for yourself? We are often much harder on ourselves than we are on our friends.

When you’re having a hard time, try telling yourself how you would speak to a friend, which can be helpful. This really is the essence of self-love and kindness. Talk yourself through your anxiety in a supportive and outcome-focused way.

Be kind and gentle, encouraging yourself to keep going, try once more, and get through the hard stuff — whatever it is you’re going through, know it won’t last forever.

This is especially helpful when you’re having difficulty and unsure why. When you don’t fully understand why you’re feeling low or anxious, it can be helpful to try to talk to yourself gently until your answers reveal themself.

Set healthy boundaries, and don’t apologize for them.

Being a human can be hard at times, especially when you’re constantly apologizing for the things that make you. Let’s face it: we’re all repeatedly told that we need to improve. That we need to be bigger, bolder, stronger, and faster.

Through all that conditioning, maybe we have formulated the idea that we need to be perfect and be the best at everything we do. That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself. And it’s almost impossible to live up to.

Remember that no one is perfect. And trying to be perfect can be incredibly stressful, making you feel even worse.

Setting healthy boundaries and not apologizing for who you are is a practice worth mastering. When something doesn’t make you feel good, say so. It is a way you can start to feel seen and heard and a critical step in accepting yourself for who you are. All of us have insecurities. Acknowledging and trying to come to terms with them positively and proactively is important. These six habits can help you do that. The most important thing is to try not to let your insecurities consume you and push you inward. You are enough; you have enough in your life to be happy, successful and fulfilled.

Dave is a Leadership and Life Coach living in Ladner, B.C., Canada.

Dave’s expertise is with individuals and teams who feel stressed and exhausted and want something different.

In 2017, Dave left a career as a Senior Manager at a large Local Government organization to start Small Pause Coaching & Consulting. His philosophy about pausing and inviting in a new, deeper conversation has supported hundreds of individuals and organizational clients.

He is a Certified HeartMath® Coach & Mentor, a Certified Trauma-sensitive HeartMath® Practitioner, a trained Equine Guided Learning Facilitator and a Certified Coach with the International Coaches Federation (ICF). Dave took his coach training at the Newfield Network in Boulder, Colorado.

You can learn more about his work at www.smallpausecoach.com or look him up on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook.

Dave also expresses his creativity through the Small Pause Shop, where he designs apparel that supports living life ‘inside the pause.’